My anniversary is coming up this weekend. My husband and I have been together 17 years! I think that's pretty tremendous since we both have trouble committing to what we want for dinner every night. I guess the saying is true....Opposites Schmopposites -- find someone just as screwed up as you are and settle down with them. He's the perfect guy for me... meaning he always looks the other way when I do something incredibly stupid and pretty much never comments on it. Good man.
For our anniversary this year, we gifted each other with some new living room furniture. The store was running a great sale with 12 months same as cash, and we actually found something we liked. Hubby bought it with the stipulation that I work to pay for it.
I know what you're thinking right now. If I have to pay for it, how is it a gift? Where does the word "gift" even come in? Well, I'll tell you. The gift in the situation is being able to sit down on a sofa without immediately falling through the middle and ending up in Narnia when all you wanted to do was relax and watch television. And this isn't even the good Narnia with furry woodland creatures and hot Prince Caspian running around. This Narnia is more like overgrown dust bunnies and leftover Cheetos and magical coins that have learned to sprout their own hair.
Which brings me to the organization part of this tale. I work from home and keep it reasonably picked up for the most part (okay, that may be a lie, but technically we haven't lost any of the pets yet). With the promise of new furniture and a nice fresh look in the house, I decided to take a little time every day this week picking one part of the house and cleaning it thoroughly. This sounded like a wonderful idea.
Today was the master bathroom. I have to say I wasn't quite prepared.
I've had a little time to process the events of that fateful hour now. First of all, let me state for the record that I was successful in cleaning the master bathroom and obviously escaped with my life.
I am currently awaiting the World Health Organization as a new strand of bacteria has been discovered. They have graciously agreed to call it Angiecillus Meadowsa.
I contacted the Gator Boys to come and remove the creature currently inhabiting my bidet.
I put bleach in my toilet, and it actually laughed at me. I shoved a brush down its throat and sure showed it.
The mop is still currently standing on its own in the middle of the bathroom floor. I'm not quite sure what's holding it up, but it looks angry and ready to fight.
The ring finally came off the tub, and it actually sighed with relief. I figured it would be better not to look down the drain.
I cleaned all the junk off my cabinet and found another house with a family of six.
I did the right thing and notified the Department of Health. They wrapped my home in yellow caution tape and are determining if the property should be condemned.
In short....please no one ever visit me. I had no idea I was such a slob!
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Disclaimer: It really wasn't that bad. But I sure felt like it was.
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