Excuse Me, Have You Seen My Clothes?

As I sit here at 11:30 p.m. contemplating going to bed for the night, I am reminded of one of my most frequently recurring dreams.  There are actually a few dreams that I find myself having over and over, so either I have something really heavy on my mind or I have a very limited imagination.  Or maybe my dream player is stuck.  Or maybe I should stop eating all those pickles....blasphemy I know.

In the dream, I find myself on the school bus, back in high school, or sitting in a classroom.  Sometimes I'm walking down the street or going out to dinner.  It will just be going about a normal routine.  Then I look down, and BOOM!

I'M NAKED!

Of course, I freak out and try to cover myself.  But this is the crazy part.  NO ONE NOTICES.

The next few parts of The Naked Dream usually include me running around and trying to find things to cover myself.  But they never stay there.  I find a shirt (usually a white button up -- go figure) and hastily put it on and pull it down to try my best to cover all my naughty parts.  Then I try to nonchalantly get to where I'm going so I can duck somewhere out of sight.  Suddenly, the shirt disappears.

AND STILL NO ONE NOTICES!

Yes, I've done the research on The Naked Dream.  It actually is a common dream experienced by a huge percentage of the population.  But that still doesn't keep me from freaking out in my dream every time I look down and realize all my Victoria Secret bits are out for everyone to see.

Dreams like The Naked Dream can symbolize that you are trying to hide something.  Or that you are insecure about something.  The part where no one notices can symbolize that your fears are unfounded.

I agree with that.  I do have a problem with being insecure.  I have horribly low self-esteem.  I agree I am trying to hide something in The Naked Dream -- besides trying to hide my buns and boobies from all the people around who aren't paying attention to them.  I'm trying to hide the fact that I'm so unsure about everything.

Come on, don't sit there in mid-scroll and tell me you've never had the naked dream.   Okay, maybe not, but have you ever been insecure or unsure about something?  Most of us have at least at some point.

*********

THINGS TO DO

1.  Find some boughs of holly and deck the halls with them.

2.  Give Rudolph some Benadryl because with that red nose he obviously has allergies.

3.  Teach the Little Drummer Boy a new cadence.  After all these years Dude could play for DCI with a little practice.

4.  Dream of a White Christmas (instead of a naked one).

5.  Do surveillance on Santa because he always be talkin bout his ho ho ho's.