Chocolate Celexa

Today has been one of those days.  You know the one I'm talking about.  Where one thing after another keeps happening to keep you in a total funk.  My husband's paycheck got docked a WEEK's pay because they did not get his time turned in by the deadline.  Oh we'll just put it on the next check they say...IN TWO WEEKS.  Okay so in the meantime what do we do?  Huh, Corporate America?  Huh?  Do we not eat for the next two weeks?  Okay maybe that is a little extremist, but you get the gist of my mood when I found out this little tidbit of information.  Then my car gets hit in the back while I'm waiting at the gas station.  I have to say I feel bad now because I came out of that car swinging.  The man was so apologetic and I showed him no mercy for a few minutes.  He asked how I was doing, and I was like "I'm hit, how are YOU?"  in the bitchiest tone I have at my arsenal.  I did eventually calm down as we were exchanging information and was nicer to him toward the end, but I still wish I had handled that differently.  The poor man accidentally hit me.  He didn't go into that parking lot thinking to himself "I'm gonna hit someone right now!"  He certainly had no idea that I was having a bad day and the up close encounter with the back of his truck topped it off.  I wish I could take back my attitude now.

When I started my Ideal Protein diet, I decided to wean off Celexa.  I had been on the antidepressant since last October.  I lost my dad back in May after a massive stroke and I was having trouble with anxiety and depression.  I started gaining weight, and my diet doctor told me it may have been due in part to the medication.

I weaned off the Celexa a couple of weeks ago, and now it seems the medication is totally out of my system.  Boy, can I tell it.  I snap at the drop of a hat now.  Drop two hats, and your arse is mine.

I don't think it helps that I am on the diet.  I am an emotional eater.  After the guy hit me today, I wanted to go to the Dairy Queen and get the biggest chocolaty-est blizzard they had and bury my face in it.  I came so close!  haha  Instead, I finished my shopping and came home and grabbed some dill pickles to snack on.  Where the heck that willpower came from, I have no idea.  Still totally on track for Ideal Protein today.

So here's my dilemma......Do I admit defeat and get back on the Celexa?  I want to believe I can be a strong enough person to deal with my emotions now on my own.  I can do this.  I have to do this.  Don't get me wrong.  There's nothing wrong with being on an antidepressant whatsoever.  I just really want to work hard on detoxifying my body, my mind, my soul.  The one thing about not being on the Celexa is..this is me, warts and all.  I feel like I need to be working more on me and learning to deal with my moods myself.

Of am I doing myself a disservice?  Should I welcome the help that the Celexa gives me in keeping me leveled out?  It would be so much easier to just go back on it and have that help.  Of course, weight gain is always an issue that has to be continuously addressed.  When I gain too much weight my blood pressure goes wonky.

Decisions, decisions, decisions....

By the way, if the poor man who hit me today ever reads this, I am so sorry I was such a witch to you.

Ranch Dressing

Sometimes, people really tick me off.  I'm a do what I say I'm going to do type person.  All I ask is that I get the same respect.  Is that too much to expect from people?  Evidently so.

With that out of the way, I went to the Ideal Protein doc today and actually gained 0.4 of a pound.  It was so depressing!  I know I know, I was on vacation last week and I didn't stick to it, etc.  And honestly 0.4 is really not that bad, but I tell you it can really be disappointing for the scale to move up instead of down, no matter how much it does.

Here is the lowdown on Ideal Protein.  It is similar to Medifast in that you have three Ideal Protein meals a day plus a healthy lean and green meal.  You are not allowed to have bread, pasta, dairy, or fruit.  You have a specific list of vegetables you can eat.  It's hard sometimes to stick to, because I am a total carb person.  I could take a bath in dairy and smear my face with bread and pasta.  I would pour ranch dressing on dirt and eat it.  I would take a hostage for an ice cream sundae.  And don't even get me started on what I would do for a Klondike bar.

Definite lifestyle changes going on here.  Honestly, it's been a long time coming.

Hey there..

I bet with a name like Fried Dill Pickles you don't know what to expect, right?  Well, neither do I.  I've begun a journey..to lose weight, to work on my bucket list, to be a positive influence on my family.  How do I do that?  No effing idea.  But I'm working on it.  And that, my friends, is the first step.

I am currently a patient in the Ideal Protein program with my local doctor.  Learn more about Ideal Protein at IdealProtein dot com.